


The Air That I Breathe

by JudyOct98



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-23 19:38:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20202619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudyOct98/pseuds/JudyOct98
Summary: Kathryn and Chakotay take a romantic weekend hike in the nearby redwood forest discovering their love for each other is deeper than they realized.





	The Air That I Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place 6 Months after Endgame.

Rating: R/NC-17 - read at your discretion, mature readers only.

The Air That I Breathe  
By J.A. Greene

Two Souls with but a single thought,  
Two hearts that beat as one. 

\- Maria Lovell

"Chakotay, we're lost," Kathryn announced along the dirt trail as she glanced up at the towering Ancient Coast Redwoods as they walked along the Skyline to the Sea Trail in the Big Basin Redwood Park located just outside San Francisco. They had been walking for four hours since meeting at a beam-down location located just off the trail near the information booth.

He sighed, “no, we're not Kathryn – “

“- How do you know?”

“I know,” he said, “I'm following the trail west – “ 

“- You should have let me bring a tricorder,” she stated.

He turned to her, “you rely too much on technology.” She smirked, “I wanted you to come with me to see what camping is really like. Not like we had it on New Earth –“ 

"- New Earth was beautiful –“

He nodded, “yes it was, but not really camping now was it?” 

Kathryn studied Chakotay dressed in khaki trousers, beige linen short-sleeved shirt, hiking boots and the large backpack he carried on his back. He was smiling at her, those damn dimples did it every time. She groaned, “no coffee, no bathtub. This had better be worth it,” she reached up adjusting the pack strapped to her as well. “I can't believe I let you talk me into this.”

“You wanted to come,” he said. “Now come on, we've got a little more ways to go before we set up camp.”

She sighed, “where is that exactly?” 

"Along Waddell Creek,” he replied. “We've got another hour or so.” He turned away and began to walk, then glanced back to see if she were following. She stood also dressed in loose beige pants, hiking boots, white pullover, short-sleeved top and a light jacket tied around her waist. Her hair was pulled behind her and she was staring up at the huge redwoods. “Kathryn?” She looked at him, “are you coming?”

She looked at him, the beauty he was trying to show her was beginning to show. She nodded, “yes,” and followed him further down the trail.

As they walked along the trail, they spotted various wild animals including deer, raccoon and she saw a jackrabbit dive beneath a bush on the trail. She smiled starting to enjoy their hike, which would last for three days.

Off of the trail at various points were signs that gave new directions to other trails in the Basin which went north or south. They were heading for a remote campsite overlooking the Pacific.

They were rounding a corner as they crested the top of an incline when he said, “Kathryn.”

“What?”

“Come here,” he told her, she stepped up closer, he was pointing in the direction of a rock formation and chaparral-covered slope about 100 feet away. When she was beside him, he took her hand gently, she held his. “Look,” and she glanced over. Against the slope was a wandering bobcat in search of food. 

“Chakotay –“ she said softly, feeling the hair rise on the back of her neck sighting the animal.

"Come on,” he said quietly, “we'll wait until he moves,” he pulled her over and around a large bush, where they knelt behind it and still had a view of the bobcat. She glanced at her, she smiled back and kissed his hand when he stroked her face. “Thanks for agreeing to this.” 

She shrugged, “you said I needed the break,” she had been supervising the refit of Voyager on Utopia Planitia for the past five months since their spectacular return to the Alpha Quadrant via the collapsing Borg transwarp hub six months before.

After the excitement had died down with the debriefings, ceremonies and interviews, Chakotay left Voyager to pursue his relationship with Seven and to help her adapt to Earth. Kathryn was hurt deeply over the relationship, since finding out about it from the admiral. She knew she could have changed that part of the future by telling him how she felt, but she saw how happy he was and stepped back.

He was her best friend, but the anger she also felt because he didn't tell her of the relationship was apparent. When the ship was taken back to Utopia Planitia, the crew was granted three months leave. She went home visiting her mother, Phoebe, old friends and slept for two weeks.

Because of her celebrity status, she was offered the choice of supervising the refit of Voyager or the admiralty. Undecided, she was given a spacious apartment located just off the base that had a panoramic view of the bridge and shoreline.

A month after the return, early one evening she stood holding a cup of coffee gazing out of the balcony windows at the setting sun. Her belongings from the ship and her house when she lived with Mark lay scattered throughout as she abandoned the idea of unpacking momentarily for coffee. She had come across an old holo-image taken of her and Chakotay on the holodeck during a pool tournament at Sandrine's. Seeing the photo brought back memories, she hadn't seen him since he told her goodbye a month before. He tenderly kissed her hand and left with Seven, she had to fight the tears during that time, but didn't let him see her cry.

She missed him. She missed him so deeply, she felt as if part of her life had gone. It took a lot of strength to move on, it was working, but she still felt a tear escape when she thought of him. She wiped her eyes shaking it away, he was happy, that's all she wanted.

The music from her stereo filled the apartment, a selection of soft jazz and piano selections. Her door chime rang, she glanced over curious who'd be calling on her, since many still didn't know she was back in town. It rang again, she sighed and put down her coffee, walked over and up the stairs to the landing and over to the door. “Coming,” she said, she opened the door, her breath caught seeing him standing in the doorway. He was dressed casual, in a gray button-down shirt, black trousers and shoes. “Chakotay?”

He smiled softly, she was obviously surprised at his arrival. She was dressed in a soft white pantsuit, her hair a little longer and framed her face. “Hello Kathryn.” 

She found her voice, “what are you doing here? I mean – “

“How did I find you?” he asked her, she nodded. “I called to talk to you at your mother's, she told me.” She still stood frozen in the door, “may I come in?”

Kathryn remembered her manners, realized she was still rooted to the spot when discovering him standing at her door. She sighed with a nod, “yes. I'm sorry, come in,” she stepped aside letting him enter.

Chakotay entered seeing her new apartment in disarray, but didn't care. He knew she was still settling in, he found it difficult still and his new place wasn't much neater. He smiled as he stepped down into her living room, noting the kitchen behind a frosted panel to the left and some stairs off to the right, which led most likely to her bedroom.  
“Nice place,” he commented.

“It's a mess,” she said closing the door and stepped down. “I can't seem to really concentrate on settling in. Would you like some coffee?”

“Sure,” he replied, she nodded, walked into the kitchen and returned with two hot cups. She handed it to him, he stared at her, “you look good.”

She smirked, “thanks.” She walked over to the sofa, “sit down,” and did curling up in a corner. He sank down on the opposite end, she studied him for a moment, “how's Seven doing?” She forced the words out of her mouth, he glanced at her not smiling. That's when she realized something was wrong. “Chakotay?”

He shrugged, “we –“ and paused. He sighed with a shake of his head, “broke up.”

Kathryn almost choked on her coffee, she wasn't sure if she was pleased or shocked. She forced herself to swallow the hot coffee before it burned her throat. After a moment, she asked curious, “what happened?”

“It wasn't meant to be,” he said staring at her. He sighed, “I'm sorry for not telling you sooner about us Kathryn. I know you were hurt and probably still am, but I ... didn't know how.”

She shook her head, “its okay Chakotay.” She paused, “I was a little hurt and angry, but I realized I just wanted you to be happy. I understood why you turned to Seven, you hadn't been happy in years.” She glanced down at her coffee saying softly, “I - sorta pushed you that way.”

He stared at her, “well, I didn't think it was going to go anywhere since that first date when she asked me out. But, since I knew where you stood, and at that time I didn't think we'd be home anytime soon, I took a chance.” She nodded, “I thought I was happy with her when we arrived home. But, as each week wore on, I discovered Seven was still a child in many ways to romance.” He laughed softly, somewhat in disbelief, “she was using so many –“ he paused again. “Let's put it this way, it seemed like I was dating a book.” Kathryn smiled softly, “she was practically going chapter by chapter,” and quoted, “'What to Do When Moving In Together'.”

“Well, that's Seven,” she said. “You know it's her way of exploring humanity, she needs a guide.”

“I didn't feel like teaching,” he replied, “not to this at least. In the beginning it was charming, the flowers, beaming into my quarters – “

She couldn't help but laugh, “she beamed into your quarters?”

He nodded, “to not arise suspicion with the crew because of the flowers,” he saw her still laughing, hiding her smile with her coffee cup. He grinned at her, missing her smile and laughter, “well, it was romantic in a comical way –“

“- Oh, I'm sure,” she replied, her eyes glowing. After a moment, she calmed staring at him, “that can't be the only reason you broke up.”

“No it's not,” he said, then sighed. “She was adapting here and found a new friend working at the Pathfinder Project.”

“New friend?”

He shrugged, “I was dumped for a younger guy.”

She leaned over reaching out taking his hand gently, he grasped it. “I'm so sorry Chakotay.”

“It's okay,” he said, not letting go of her hand. “Besides, I saw a lot of you in her.” They stared, “I missed you Kathryn,” he added softly.

She felt her heart skip a beat, she smiled gently, “I missed you too.” After a moment she sighed, “so now where are you staying?”

“Base housing,” he replied, “until I can find a place.” He glanced around, “and it's not much neater than yours.”

“It'll get there,” she said, they still held hands, it was comforting. She then broke the contact sighing, “are you hungry? I was thinking of preparing dinner –"

“- Replicated?

She smirked, “well, how else?” 

“How about this,” he suggested, “we replicate the ingredients, and I cook? You make the salad.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she agreed, “come on,” she stood up, he did as well. He followed her into the kitchen as they wove through a few opened crates. 

They spent the next hour preparing dinner and laughing over past times. She decided to set the small table located on the balcony because it was a warm night.

Chakotay checked on the chicken in her oven, she was finishing up the salad. “So, what have you been up to?”

She shrugged, “not much,” and glanced over at him. “But, Starfleet has offered me a position in the admiralty –“

“- Well, that would be obvious,” he said, referring to her future counterpart.

She nodded, “yes, I know. And,” she sighed, “a supervisor position to help refit Voyager, which will also open the opportunity to keep commanding her or another ship.” She leaned against the counter, “I can only see myself commanding Chakotay. Not sitting behind a desk becoming a cynical, old woman. The admiral woke me up.”

He sighed, “well, she was a wake up for us all.” He turned looking into the oven, the chicken was done. He picked up an oven mitt, put it on and reached in pulling out the pan, “it's done,” he turned off the oven. She handed him some plates, he put their servings on each. “Wine or tea?”

“White wine,” she said walking over to the replicator, and called up two glasses. He had the plates, she took the glasses and they headed out to the balcony.

Shortly later after the sun had set, they finished dinner watching the stars twinkle overhead and the lights glow on the bridge. He sat back with a sigh staring at her, the candlelight glowed against her, making her look more beautiful now than before. “Kathryn have you decided what you're going to do?”

She shook her head, “no. I told them I wanted a couple of months.” She noticed him staring at her, she smiled softly. “Chakotay you've been staring at me quite a bit this evening. Why am I so fascinating to you right now?”

He didn't answer for a moment, deciding how to reply. He toyed with his empty wineglass, “I missed our dinners,” he finally said. She nodded, and then an idea came to him as he heard the music drifting out onto the balcony. He stood up, she stared up at him, “know what we never did?”

She shook her head, “what?”

He held out his hand, “dance.”

“Dance?” she repeated, he nodded. She smiled at him, “Chakotay I'm not –“

“ - Come on Kathryn,” he said softly, “trust me.” She stared a moment longer, reluctantly took his hand standing. He pulled her away from the table and gently into his arms. She gasped softly at the current of energy that passed through them. They had never stood this close and personal, he stared at her. Then took her hand in his, placed his left on her waist, she slid hers around his slowly. He slowly began to move them in a small circle, their eyes never leaving each other's. As they danced, she began to relax against him, he smiled gently at her, “I've always wondered what this would be like.”

She forced herself to speak, “I never knew you could. It's nice –“

He smiled at her with a nod, “yes, it is.” She smiled at him and lay her head against his shoulder. This felt so right to him, he knew she felt the same, they were so much alike. She moved with him as if they were a part of the music, fluid and soft. Dancing with Seven was never this perfect, no matter how hard Seven tried, it wouldn't work and his bruised feet wasn't made to take the beating. Kathryn was different, her body moved with his, this was perfect. He took a chance, he whispered in her ear, “do you realize how much you mean to me?”

She lifted her head staring at him, “how much?”

“As much as it took for me to find you,” he replied softly. “To risk - to try and make our friendship last. It was always important to me.”

“It was the same for me,” she told him. “I've always believed in it.”

The music kept on, they stopped dancing as the world seemed to spin away from them. He took a chance and leaned down gently kissing her, she gasped shocked, but didn't pull away. He hesitantly brushed his lips with hers, she responded lightly.

Kathryn curled her fingers into his waist, she waited for this for so long, now that it had finally happened she was at a loss. He then pulled away, she swallowed, “why Chakotay?”

He shook his head, “there's another reason why we broke up.” She didn't respond, he sighed, “Seven knew my heart wasn't into the relationship, it belonged elsewhere. It has always belonged to you Kathryn.”

“Chakotay, I don't –“

“- I wanted to kiss you,” he said tenderly. “I've always wanted to. I want to again, if you'd allow me?”

She reached up cupping the side of his face, she wanted to cry she was so happy. Her eyes grew moist and her heart swelled. Her voice shook, “my hearts belonged to you Chakotay, but I could never allow myself to act on it.”

“I know,” he nodded, his hand gently caressed her face and neck. He could feel her shivering, his own heartbeat had picked up, and his breath was short. “I'm no longer your first officer Kathryn, your no longer captain of Voyager –“

She touched his mouth quieting him, “Chakotay, stop.” She paused, “I want you to kiss me again. I've always wanted you –“ and she groaned softly when he did, this time more deeply and firmer. She pulled him tighter to her clinging to him as their breaths intermingled.

He held her to him, her body molded to his. He could feel how aroused he was getting, but he couldn't seem to pull away from her. Her response was just as demanding, her perfume surrounded him, and he opened her mouth to his as they clung to each other. He gasped, he could feel the passion building, he didn't want any regrets between them. As much as he hated it, he pulled away from her. “I think I'd better go –“ he turned walking into her living room.

Kathryn stood stunned watching him leave, she didn't want him to. Now she was sure, not after what was just said. She stepped into the living room, “Chakotay –“ he stopped near the stairs turning. She slowly stepped closer to him, her heart beat so loud she could hear it and she couldn't breathe. “Stay-“

He advanced slowly towards her, seeing the lost passion in her face. Her skin was flushed, she was beautiful. “Kathryn are you sure? I don't want us to regret –“

She nodded, her voice husky, “yes, I'm very sure.” She added breathless, “please don't go. No regrets, ever.”

He crossed the room to her taking her face in his hands, she stared up at him, and then he kissed her deeply and passionately drawing her up against him. Their tongues meshed in the passion, he slid his hands into her hair gripping it firmly, and she clung to him, her legs growing weak. He lifted her up against him, wanting this for so long. He kissed her face and throat, “I want you so much –“

Kathryn sighed, she kissed his face nodding, “yes, please - upstairs,” he kissed her deeply again walking around a container and carried her up the stairs to her large bedroom.

Early the next morning, Chakotay kissed Kathryn's face, as she lay curled into his arms, he stroked her hair and back gently. They could hear the birds singing and chirping in a nearby tree outside her window as the sun rose slowly, the bright light cast across the foot of her bed.

They spent the entire evening making passionate love, the first time was exquisite and explosive as seven year's of passion and desire fueled them. He found her as hungry as he was for her it seemed. She was so perfect and beautiful, being with her was everything he dreamed. The second time was still passionate, but they took their time, he explored her, finding what she enjoyed. He pleased her as much as he could, she had been without for so long, both their climaxes brought them to tears as they cried in each other's arms afterwards. Right before sleep, he tenderly made love to her again and told her he loved her, she cried in the tenderness responding the same.

Kathryn sighed kissing his throat and chest, the sheet covered them, her hair in disarray. She had changed what future the admiral had initially carved out and she knew if the admiral were still around, she'd be happy, as much as she was now. He was hers, last night had proved it.

“How'd you sleep?” she asked softly.

“Wonderful,” he replied gently tousling her hair. She lifted her head gazing at him, he lifted his head kissing her gently, she responded shifting against him by lifting herself against him. He slid his hands up her smooth, bare back into her hair, how he loved her hair.

Their kiss became deeper, more loving. She moaned softly pressing her body against his, she tilted back her head as he placed a deep, soft kiss on her throat. “Oh Chakotay, I never dreamed –“ he held her face in his hands, “this could happen between us. I've always wished –“

He kissed her deeply again, she responded as the passion burned between them again. He rolled over against her, her legs slid around his hips, he whispered while placing kisses down her. “My Kathryn, you're so beautiful,” he wanted her again. 

She moaned running her hands through his hair, she arched her back groaning when he placed his mouth on her womanhood beginning to explore her deeply. She shuddered feeling an ache build deep within, it grew tighter and stronger. “Chak-o-tay! Oh god, please –“

“ - I love you,” he said passionately, he stroked her hips drawing her closer, her body shook again, she was close. He continued his assault until she couldn't take it anymore, he joined her back in her arms kissing her again and joining them at the same time. Her orgasm came as she cried out against his mouth in the pleasure. 

Kathryn clung tightly to him as he moved his hips against hers slowly and into her deeply. She had no idea until the night before what a talented and incredible lover he was, he listened to her and paid attention to her needs. She couldn't believe she waited so long to discover this.

He groaned kissing her face and throat, her muscles clenched him even more as her next climax built. “You're so beautiful-“

“Chakotay - I love you – “ and cried out as he lifted her hips to his, he began to move even harder. The ache was growing, she buried her face in his neck biting it gently clinging to him, and she started to scream as he pounded harder into her, his own cries filling her ears and senses. Suddenly she felt the ache burst and spread throughout, she arched her back screaming his name clinging tightly to him. He felt his release and cried out spilling his life into hers, warming her. His hips slowed as they gasped in each other's arms, their skin damp from the passion. After several minutes he gazed at her brushing her hair out of her face, they smiled, she reached up tracing his tattoo. “Oh my, what a wake-up –“ 

He nodded, “- I know,” he kissed her gently and rolled beside her pulling her against him. She wrapped her arms around him kissing his chest, their heartbeats slowed. 

“Oh, we're going to be sore,” she moaned. “I haven't been this active since my early twenties.”

He chuckled, “oh, don't remind me.” They lay quietly, he sighed, “are you hungry? For food that is?”

“In a little bit,” she replied, “I need to rest, you exhausted me.” Then looked at him with her lopsided grin.

“Well, we can't have that,” he said, she put her head against his shoulder closing her eyes as they drifted off to sleep. A month later she accepted the supervisor position so they could be together. Being apart now wasn't an option ....

... “Kathryn,” he said seeing her mind elsewhere.

She turned her head looking at him, coming back to reality, “what?” 

“Let's go,” he told her, “he's gone,” she nodded. They slowly stood, he held her hand tightly. They headed further down the trail, “what were you thinking about?”

“Just how happy I've been, and us” she replied. He stopped and smiled, then pulled her up against him kissing her gently. She responded, he pulled away kissing her face, “I'm so happy Chakotay.”

“So am I Kathryn,” he said tenderly. “Now, come on. We have a little ways to go before we stop,” she nodded and they continued.

=/\=

An hour later, Chakotay found them a quiet, enclosed glade near the creek. They could hear the water running and the sun streamed through the towering redwoods. He had pulled out the folded tent and was spreading it out on a thick bed of soft moss. She wandered around, “this is a place for wood nymphs and fairies,” she said in awe of the beauty. “It's really beautiful Chakotay –“

He was inserting the portable rods into the proper seams to support it. He glanced over at her, “you’re beautiful –“

Kathryn glanced over at him with a wry grin, “you know flattery will get you nowhere.”

“Yeah, so I've been told,” he said. He noticed her rubbing her arms, the sun was setting and a chill was setting in despite it being summer. The basin was known to reach the low 40s at night. “You cold?”

She shrugged, “a little. What about a fire?”

“Only small contained ones,” he replied,” are permitted. Can you go find us some firewood and large stones?”

“Long as you don't plan,” she said, “to use my hair as kindling.”

He smiled broadly at her, remembering that time on Hanos when Seska and the Kazon stranded the entire crew. He nodded, “I promise. Now go so I can start dinner soon.”

“I'll be back,” she said and wandered into the trees.

Kathryn managed to collect enough wood that should last them the night and morning. She took the armful back to the camp and placed the pile nearby, part of the tent was set up. “How's it coming?” 

“Almost there,” he replied from behind the rising fabric. “You?”

“Getting the stones,” she said and headed back into the trees. She wandered around, it was getting cooler and she was a little hungry. She found several large stones near the creek and carried them back. She saw he had the tent erected, it was a wide square with a tapered top that had a clear dome for stargazing. “Chakotay?”

“In here,” he said, she put down the stones and walked over kneeling down pulling the flap aside. He was inside kneeling and connecting both their sleeping bags. One functioned as the top and the other the bottom. She smiled, “this looks cozy –“

“- Oh yes,” he replied, “and warm. Best way to share body heat –“

“Well I can think of one way –“ she said somewhat seductive.

“Kathryn,” he said chuckling, “my love, you’re insatiable at times.”

She nodded, “yes, but I don't hear you complaining.”

“I've been too tired,” he quipped.

“Liar,” she said grinning, “if I recall correctly, you've woken me up a few times.” He shook his head grinning, “I need some coffee Chakotay –“

“- I knew you would,” he said. “Check my bag, I'll be right out.” She nodded disappearing, he finished just as he heard her give a groan of satisfaction. She reappeared holding the thermos, “find it I gather?”

Kathryn nodded, “oh Chakotay, thank you.”

He nodded, “your welcome,” she smiled. He crawled closer to her. “I love you.”

“I love you,” she replied and shivered again. “It's getting cool –“

“- Let me get the fire started,” he said, she moved out of the way. He pulled himself out and stood. She was opening her pack and pulling out a green sweater. He found the rocks, gathered them and formed a small circle near the tent. Then picked up the wood stacking a small pile in the center, found some dry grass and put it beneath the stack and pulled out a self-contained lighter. He lit it and watched it catch immediately, the warmth began to spread out around them and lighting the area. He felt her arms surround him as she came up behind him, he tilted back his head as she kissed his ear.

“It feels wonderful,” she said softly.

“Yes, it does,” he replied and reached around pulling her to him. She stared at him, he reached out stroking her face. “Hungry?”

Kathryn smiled, she nodded and lifted herself up kissing him gently, he responded, she tasted of coffee and a little salt from the air. He wrapped her closer making the kiss deeper, after several moments she pulled away. “My stomach is growling –“

“- I can hear it,” he said, he kissed her quickly again. “Okay, come on love.” She nodded and pulled away. He moved to his bag and pulled out another small pack filled with vacuum-gelled food. He pulled out a bowl and began putting dinner together.

After dinner, they sat before the fire, she leaned against him as his arm was wrapped around her. The darkness surrounded them, the stars twinkled above as they sat in their own world.

“Oh, remember that luau?” she said softly.

“Yes,” he replied, “you looked fabulous in that dress.”

She sighed, “we should have done that party more often. That was an incredible year, wasn't it?”

“So much has happened,” he said kissing the side of her face. “We traveled back in time, met some very interesting species –“

“- Mind melds,” she added.

“Yes, those to,” he agreed.

Kathryn was warmer now with the fire, dinner and some coffee. She sighed, “Chakotay, if I ever received command of Voyager or even another ship, would you come with me?”

He held her tighter kissing the side of her face, “what about protocol and our new relationship?”

Kathryn was quiet as she thought, then sighed, “Chakotay marriage wouldn't be possible.”

“I know.”

She nodded, “but I wouldn't end our personal relationship. I almost lost you after seven years of not expressing how I felt to you. No command will stop me from doing that again, except on duty."

“Except on duty,” he said, he buried his face in the softness of her hair. “I'll go anywhere with you Kathryn,” he kissed her neck.

She tilted her head to the side, her skin tingled feeling his soft mouth against her. Her body warmed to his, his hands slid beneath her sweater to the softness of her abdomen. She moaned softly as he began to caress her gently, his hand slid beneath her loose trousers. She arched her back when his hand came in contact with the soft curls of her womanhood.

Immediately she pulled away from him and straddled him. They kissed deeply, he held her hips pulling her closer. She could feel his hardness pressed against his trousers. Her breath grew short as the passion built, “my life wouldn't be the same without you Chakotay,” she said breathless. “The admiral showed me that,” she urged her hips against his, the need for him growing.

He groaned pulling her tighter against him, the warmth from her body was making him even more aroused. He ran his hands up into her hair gripping it tightly, he placed a kiss on her throat whispering, “I think we should go inside the tent, don't you?”

She kissed him deeply nodding, he held her, she moaned against his mouth, “yes, it's a great idea,” and slid off him and went inside. He followed to find her opening the sleeping bag, she pulled off her boots and sweater. He soon joined her pulling the cover over them.

Her head rested on a small pillow as he wrapped his arms around her kissing her again. She responded feeling the warmth surround them, suddenly in the silence of the night, an owl's cry was heard echoing through the stillness and growing passion. Kathryn pulled away startled, “was that an owl?”

He nodded sliding his hands beneath her shirt, “yes, and their incredible birds.” He found her breasts and stroked them over her bra, she groaned arching to him. “They're very intelligent and majestic – “ he then pulled the shirt over her head tossing it. He wanted her, that much was certain, this way.

"- Oh really?” she said husky, he began to kiss slowly down her, she groaned when he removed her bra taking a hard bud in his mouth. “Tell me more –“ her body shuddered as she felt the ache begin to build.

“Soft,” he whispered, “the feathers, the large expressful eyes –“ he began to pull her trousers and panties off. There wasn't much room once he got to the end of the sleeping bag, he pulled one leg off then the other. He then threw them out tossing them to the side. She gasped when he placed his mouth on her, she was ready for him, and he didn't want to waste much time.

“Chakotay-“ she whispered, “now –“ and groaned. “Please-“ He lay against her nude body, she could feel his warmth through his clothes. She helped him remove his shirt and unfastened his trousers, they quickly pushed them down, he was more than ready for her. He kissed her passionately again, their tongues meshing, her legs slid around his hips, he adjusted himself against her.

“My Kathryn,” he whispered as their eyes caught, she took his face in her hands. He then joined them deeply and firmly. She cried out clinging to him, her hips lifted to his. “How I love you –“

“- I love you,” she whispered as he slowly moved against her. They kissed passionately again as her hips greeted his. He rolled her over against him, she sat up taking his hands gripping them and moving her hips downward. She groaned feeling the ache grow, the air was cooler but her skin burned and she didn't notice.

He supported her watching her, letting her lead for now. He knew she preferred it this way, her aggressiveness came through in her lovemaking. It aroused him even more, once he woke her sensual side five months before, there was no turning back. He groaned feeling his release start to build, he lifted his hips to her, and she groaned again starting to move a little harder.

“Kathryn – “ he said, she whimpered. “Slow down, love,” her passion was growing. He wanted to take his time, they were in his world now, not either of their bedrooms or apartments, they only had three days. He sat up pulling her against him, slowing her by holding her hips. She gasped, he kissed her deeply, their tongues meshing gently, he held her head now.

“Oh god,” she whispered as he kissed her face gently. “I can't help myself Chakotay. Seven year's is a long time to make up for.”

“I know,” he said tenderly, he began to rock gently. “We have the rest of our lives Kathryn. It's only been five months, let's take our time.”

She held him sighing, “I'll try,” he kissed her tenderly as they continued to rock gently. She now clung to him, burying her face in his neck, her breath growing short. Their gentle rocking enabling him to go deeper only, the ache built slowly now, she kissed his shoulder. “Oh, I love you.”

He slid his hand up beneath her hair gripping it gently, he kissed her, trailing kisses down her neck to her throat. “I love you to,” she groaned as he kissed her throat, she kissed him again, a little deeper.

They continued to rock and kiss for awhile longer until holding off the release was unbearable. He lowered her back down to the soft, plush bottom of the sleeping bag. Her arms surrounded him, her legs wrapped higher around his waist allowing him to go deeper and harder. He began to move faster bringing their release closer, they groaned loudly, she arched her back clinging tightly to him.

“Your so beautiful,” he whispered gasping, they kissed deeply and tenderly again.

The ache was growing tighter and stronger as he began to move faster and harder. She began to scream, he gasped pulling her tighter against him, his own release building. She began to cry, despite it all, the passion and love they were expressing to each other. When the ache burst, she screamed clutching him tightly. He kissed her quiet, she moaned responding as the tears slid down her face. He continued to move against her feeling his own release, her body shuddered again as a new ache built.

“My love,” he groaned kissing her face gently. He gasped feeling his life spill into hers, his hips slowing. He collapsed against her, they embraced tightly letting their heartbeats slow. He remained within her still, savoring her softness and warmth, after a moment he looked at her. She smiled up at him, her tears drying up, he kissed her tenderly, and she held him. Then he gazed at her, “you’re so beautiful Kathryn.”

She stroked his face, and then began to trace his eyebrow working along his tattoo. Even in the dim light, she now had the design memorized. She sighed, “my life is so complete with you Chakotay. Loving you has been the best thing for me –“

“- For us,” he said, she nodded. He placed a kiss on the tip of her nose, and then lay beside her pulling her against him. She cuddled against him as he adjusted the top half of the sleeping bag, now they were beginning to feel the coolness of the night air. They lay quietly listening to the sounds of the night as he stroked her back and hair, “should we get dressed?”

She had her eyes closed and moaned softly, “hmm - I'm warm.”

He chuckled, “I realize that, but what about in the morning? Do you plan on emerging from here in the buff?”

She sighed kissing his chest, “Chakotay really. Our clothes are just outside the sleeping bag and it'll be warmer.” She then entwined a leg with his, he groaned feeling her rub against him. She understood and laughed softly, “sorry –“

He moaned, knowing if she did it again, sleeping wouldn't come quickly. “Yeah, I know, just be careful Kathryn –“

Kathryn pressed herself against him, “I'll try.” Then added seductively, “unless you want to go for another time?”

He lifted his head in shock, “woman you're insatiable. Don't you ever get tired?”

“A little,” she replied with a shrug. Kathryn lifted her eyes gazing at him. “But, we have a lot of catching up to do Chakotay. Can I help it if I want you all the time now?”

“What do you do during the week,” he asked curious, “when we're not together?” She smiled at him, he sighed reading her expression. “Oh, I know.” She laughed, “I love you and your crazy.”

She shook her head, “no, I'm just crazy in love with you and I don't care who knows about us –“

“- And if you get a new command?”

“I'll deal with it,” she replied, she rested her head on his chest. “I won't ever loose you Chakotay –“

“Oh Kathryn,” he said gently. “I'll never leave you,” she closed her eyes as he stroked her hair. He heard her drift off to sleep and soon followed himself.

Chakotay stirred softly to the sound of a robin singing in a nearby tree. It was warm, but he could feel the early morning air on his face. He slowly opened his eyes moaning, the sunlight streamed across the top of the tent, he could see a deep blue clear sky and a soft cumulous cloud. He felt Kathryn still asleep beside him and glanced down.

She lay curled slightly into him, her hair in disarray from their lovemaking and a bare shoulder peeked out. He couldn't help but love this woman more than life itself. His love for her ran deep for so long during their years in the Delta Quadrant when she stood fast to protocol between them and they just had to remain friends. His affair with Seven, if wanting to even call it that, was a diversion. He didn't want to think of what could have happened should that relationship had gone further while still in the DQ. If it had ... he knew Kathryn would have been more deeply hurt than she was five months before. He couldn't imagine doing that to her, ever.

She was so beautiful in this light, the red highlights in her hair shown slightly from it. He smiled softly picking up a strand and caressed it between his fingers. She sighed softly in her sleep, he leaned down placing a soft kiss on her bare shoulder. He pressed his body to hers, spooning against her burying his face in her neck and hair wrapping his arms around her.

Kathryn stirred softly feeling him, she pressed herself deeper into his arms, his love and warmth surrounding her. He brushed her hair away from her face placing a kiss on her neck.

She opened her eyes a few moments later smiling, she moaned, “goodmorning.”

“Goodmorning,” he said softly.

She turned into his arms, they stared at each other, “what time is it?”

“Very early,” he replied, “the sun just came up,” she wrapped her arms around him.

“About the time I usually do,” she said softly, then sighed. “This is so comfortable,” he smiled and kissed her gently. She responded pulling him against her, he slid his hands up slowly caressing and she moaned when he cupped her breasts. The kiss became deeper and her body tingled spreading the warmth down her. She felt him stroke her risen buds and gasped softly against his mouth.

Without words, they both knew they hungered for each other again. This was normal between them, since consummating their love five months before. On weekends they'd always woke to lovemaking, sometimes tenderly, others passionately. Today it was the latter, being surrounded by nature.

He lay against her beginning to kiss her face and working his way down to her throat. She tilted back her head with a sigh running her hands through his hair, despite the cool morning air, she was getting warmer. He stroked her gently, caressing softly, setting her body into uncontrollable shivers. She felt his hand stroke her lower, touching her womanhood. She groaned arching her back, her legs parted some admitting his touch. He caressed her gently feeling her grow warm and ready for him, he gently touched her bud of nerves and she cried out softly clinging to him.

“Kathryn,” he said lovingly, “you're so beautiful,” he took a bud in his mouth beginning to savor it gently. She let him lead this morning, wanting him to continue.

“Chakotay,” she whispered and groaned feeling him slide two fingers into her gently. Her hips arched to his hand, he gently stroked her within, she felt the ache begin to build as it grew tighter and her body shuddered. She couldn't take much more, she whimpered, “Chakotay, please - I want you inside – “ he kissed her deeply and gently, their tongues meshing.

He felt how ready she was, he was as well. He removed his hand and moved over against her, her legs surrounded his hips as he positioned himself against her. He then gazed at her and joined them deeply and gently, she cried out softly, he lowered his head kissing her throat beginning to move against her slowly. She clung to him, her hips lifted to his, she felt the ache start, but he kept moving slowly and gently holding her off. She kissed his neck and him as the love and pleasure surged through her.

Chakotay rolled over onto his back taking her with him. She lay against him moving her hips downward, he reached up taking her face in his hands, and she kissed them closing her eyes. He lifted his head up kissing her deeply and gently, she moaned responding as the ache built still.

She buried her face against his neck beginning to move harder, she groaned. He stroked her hair and back gently kissing her neck tenderly. He felt his own release building, her muscles were clenching him more. “I love you,” he said tenderly in her ear and rolled against her. He moved against her still, this time deeper and slightly harder. He watched her face as she arched her back to him pressing him deeper, she gasped feeling her body shudder.

He lowered his head taking a hard bud in his mouth. She held his head as he savored each one and then kissed slowly up her to throat. “Faster,” she commanded husky with passion. He started to, she groaned and he kissed her again, she responded as their tongues met deeply.

“Kathryn,” he groaned feeling her body clench him more. She clung to him, he kissed her face and gazed at her, “open your eyes, my love.” Her eyes opened, “let me see you,” he was moving faster, drawing them closer. Her blue eyes stared into his dark ones, he tenderly stroked her face. “You're so beautiful – “

Kathryn cried out feeling her body shudder even deeper, she wrapped her legs higher around his waist, he began to move harder. He groaned against her screams and kissed her quiet. She moaned responding and felt the ache burst, she cried out feeling her body shudder violently. She gasped clutching him tightly and he cried out burying his face in her neck and hair.

Chakotay collapsed against her catching his breath feeling his heart slow. He kissed her neck and then her throat, she sighed tilting back her head. He then looked at her, she smiled up at him, the passion still seen in her face. “You're so beautiful,” he said tenderly kissing her.

Kathryn responded and he lay beside her pulling her against him. She kissed his face softly and wrapped her arms around him with a sigh. “Why are our mornings so passionate?”  
He caressed her back, “I guess because they just are. And we love each other, sometimes I feel this is the only way I can really show you.”

“Oh,” she said husky, “I really don't mind.”

He chuckled, “I know,” he sighed. “We should eat, pack up and move on if we're going to find our next place before sunset.”

She nodded, “I know and your right,” she kissed his chin and the dimple located there. She pulled away from him, he sat up and slipped out of the sleeping bag. She sat with her legs pulled up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She watched him gather his clothes and smiled softly admiring him.

He caught her gaze pulling on his trousers, “what?”

She shrugged, "nothing. Your just ... “ he waited, she sighed. “Perfect.”

Chakotay flashed her a full smile, “so are you,” he picked up her clothes, and then dropped them in front of her. “Get dressed. I'll get a fire started for breakfast,” he pulled on his shirt. He leaned down kissing her quickly and left.

Kathryn sat in thought for a moment longer, an idea coming to her. She smiled and started to get dressed.

Two hours later, Chakotay had the tent rolled up and packed, the fire doused completely with dirt and both their packs were ready. He helped her adjust hers, kissed her and pulled on his. They walked down the path to the trail and he took her hand as they headed further towards the ocean.

=/\=

“Chakotay-“ Kathryn called to him, he was up a little further scouting out areas for them to camp for the next two days.

“Come on,” he called to her just a little ways up.

She sighed and walked up the trail further, she saw him standing next to an enormous redwood. There were also some oak trees and a rocked slope in the distance. “I think away team protocols should be taken here,” she claimed. “Don't go ahead like that – “

He smiled at her, “ - who's in command?”

“I should be,” she replied, he chuckled holding out his hand. “But this is your realm, so you have command,” she took his hand. She stared up at him, slightly catching her breath. “So now what?”

He reached out stroking the side of her face smiling gently, “come here. I'd like you to see something,” he held her hand leading her further into the woods and around the large slope. Then through some old growth to reveal a small, moss-covered overlook cliff with a view of the shoreline. It was almost mid-morning, the mist from the water was still rising as the sun rose higher she gazed around, it was beautiful and peaceful. “Oh Chakotay, it's beautiful,” she sighed.

He glanced at her, “yes, it is,” then gazed around. “I love being surrounded by this beauty and peace Kathryn. I somehow wish I could stay forever.”

She nodded understanding his love for nature, he was really at peace in this part of the world. She shrugged, “well, have you thought about finding a nice remote spot perhaps in the Sante Fe Mountains?" He looked at her, “you could build a cabin there and use it as a retreat when you need it.”

He smiled, “I think it's a great idea,” she stared at him. “Will you help?” 

She smiled wryly at him folding her arms over her chest, “a love nest?” Then said seductively, “why Chakotay, I never knew you had it in you.”

He stood grinning at her as she stood with the pack attached to her. The look in her eyes he was familiar with quite well. She was teasing him, something she enjoyed. He loved it as well, but they still had a ways to go before setting up camp again. “Kathryn I thought you knew that side of me by now.”

“So it's true,” she stated smiling. “You've decided to build us a love nest.” She nodded sighing, and then looked directly at him. “Sounds - exciting,” she said breathy.

That was it, her voice managed to always draw him in like a wave upon a shore. He turned to her and pulled her to him, she gasped softly. “You’re doing this on purpose aren't you?”

She stared up at him, “perhaps, but,” she slid a hand up his chest slowly and deliberately. “We have to – “ he leaned down placing a kiss on her neck. She slid her arms around his waist, “keep going.”

He then reached between them to the belt clasp at her waist. His breath was short and heart raced as he unfastened it. She found his and did the same. They shrugged out of the packs letting them drop to the ground. He kissed her deeply and passionately drawing her up against him. She pressed her body against his feeling her own desire burning, he directed her to the nearest tree pressing her up against it, lifting her.

“You're doing this on purpose,” he gasped again and slid his hands beneath her shirt, to his shock he found her bare beneath. He gazed at her, the passion seen in her eyes and face. “Kathryn you’re not wearing anything under your clothes?”

She smiled seductively, she kissed his face, her breath short, “surprise – “

“- You’re unbelievable,” he said shocked, but found himself incredibly aroused at this. He was curious as to her other “surprises,” and slid his hand into her trousers and gently caressed finding her also bare. He couldn't take it much anymore, he began to stroke her gently, she groaned arching against him, and he kissed her deeply and passionately again. She was ready for him, her body was hot and inviting.

“Chak – “ she said against his mouth. “Please – “ her body shuddered deeply.

“Now?” he whispered.

She nodded, “yes,” and let him pull her trousers down, she groaned feeling the rough bark of the tree against her tender, bare flesh. She began to unfasten his own trousers, he pushed her up against the tree harder. She cried out feeling the bark dig into her. “Chakotay, not here – “ he had taken a hard bud in his mouth and was savoring it deeply, teasing it gently. She held his head, “it's too rough –“

Chakotay heard her, his blood burned, he pulled her away from the tree and turned her around lowering her to the soft bed of moss. He removed one of her boots and a pant leg, and then slipped between kissing her passionately again. Their tongues met deeply as she wrapped her legs around his waist, urging her hips against his. She could feel how aroused he was, she couldn't wait much longer. She reached up unfastening his trousers, he groaned and helped her by pushing them down around his knees.

He cupped a breast gently beneath her shirt and adjusted himself against her. “I can't get enough of you-“ he groaned kissing her face and working down to her throat, she tilted back her head.

“Now-“ she whispered firmly. He joined them deeply and firmly, she cried out arching to him and held him for a moment. She wrapped him tighter against her, and then moved her hips against his, he began to match her movement. She groaned feeling the ache build quickly, growing tighter and stronger. He kissed her ear, sucking it gently, her body shuddered again. “I love you –“ she said passionately.

“I love you,” he groaned moving his hips harder against hers. “Gods Kathryn, what you do to me.”

She cried out again as he began to move harder, she clutched him tightly burying her face in his neck. Her breath was short and sharp, she started to scream when he began to pound harder into her, his own groans being heard against her.

Kathryn suddenly heard voices nearing them, a small group was on the trail. She closed her mouth to stop her screams, he didn't hear. She bit into his shoulder as he continued to pound into her, the last thing she wanted was this group to hear their frenzied lovemaking. The ache was stronger and her muscles clenched him more.

“Kathryn-“ he groaned, “you're so beautiful.” His own release was coming, he could feel hers as well. He held her tighter, moving faster now, she bit harder into his shoulder. He groaned and kissed her again, their tongues meshing.

She felt the ache grow tighter and suddenly burst, she cried out with a scream against his mouth, her body shuddering violently. He continued to move against her until he felt his own, and cried out against her, his life spilling into hers.

He gasped collapsing against her, “oh god,” he whispered burying his face in her hair. “Kathryn your incredible – “

She sighed, her own breath was slowing and kissed his neck gently, “so are you.” She then listened for the voices, it was quiet again. Figures, just as she was having the most intense orgasm of her life, she couldn't scream at the top of her lungs.

He gazed at her and kissed her tenderly, she responded and then looked at her. “You had all this planned didn't you?”

She shrugged, “maybe,” and studied him, she reached up and gently stroked his temples. “Chakotay – “

“- What?”

“You’re getting gray,” she replied, gently stroking around his temples.

“No I'm not,” he said.

She nodded, “yes you are – “

“ - Kathryn I'm too young – “

She frowned, “'too young'?” Then laughed softly, “Chakotay your 48 years old. You can't avoid – “ she moaned softly when he kissed her quiet. She responded, then gazed at him. “I love it,” she said smiling.

He chuckled, “geez, if that's all it takes to shut you up, I should have done this year's ago.”

She laughed, “yeah, and I would have had you busted down to crewman so fast you wouldn't have known what hit you.”

“I don't doubt it,” he said grinning gently at her. He stared at her, her face was beautiful as her eyes expressed the love she felt for him. His own expression softened and he stroked the side of her face tenderly, “I love you so much Kathryn. These past five months have been so wonderful.”

She kissed his hand and then lifted her head kissing him gently whispering, “they have and now we have forever – “

He rolled her over against him, he nodded, “my life has already started. That night I kissed you.”

“Your such a romantic,” she whispered, “and I love it,” she embraced him, he held her gently. She kissed his neck and quipped, “considering how many times we can make love, I don't think that's too bad for a couple of middle-aged officers.”

Chakotay began to laugh, she did as well, “'middle-aged'?” She looked at him, “I feel like a teenager with you Kathryn. And,” he stroked her bare backside gently, “making love to you hasn't ever been better.”

She stared down at him, then groaned, “Chakotay you're doing it again.”

“What?”

“Flattery,” she replied reminding him and moved to get off him.

He reached out stopping her, “Kathryn – “ she looked at him. He gently pulled her against him and took her face in his hands. “It's not flattery, its how I feel.”

“Oh Chakotay,” she whispered, he kissed her forehead. After several moments she sighed, “we'd better keep moving if we want to set up by sunset.” He nodded, she pulled away from him and pulled her trousers up, and he sat up doing the same. They stared at each other, she held out her hand and he took it standing. She found her boot, pulled it on and fastened it.

He picked up her pack and brought it over to her, she slipped it on and fastened the waist belt. He then pulled his on and did the same, he took her hand and they headed back down to the trail.

=/\=

A few hours later they found a private campsite along a wide ridge that had an unblocked view of the ocean. There was also small waterfall with a medium-sized pool, she sighed in awe of it. She unfastened the pack and pulled it off, lowering it to the ground.

“A swim would feel so good,” she commented.

Chakotay was brushing some fallen leaves away with a branch in an area with a view of the shoreline. He uncovered an old fire hearth, he was glad because they could use that. “Not until camp is set,” he told her with soft smile.

She glanced over at him, “of course. But this is perfect,” they were surrounded by the huge conifers, dry growth and oak trees. And they were about 1000 feet from the trail, so she wasn't worried about being overheard during their lovemaking. She walked over to him, “I'll get some wood?”

He nodded as he pulled out the tent unfolding it, “go ahead.” He glanced up, “soon as I get this set up, you can connect the sleeping bags.”

She smiled, “my pleasure.”

Chakotay felt himself blush, he smiled, “get some wood please,” she laughed and walked towards the eastside of the site. He watched her for a moment, her hips swayed gently as she maneuvered between the oak trees. He truly loved everything about her, even now he knew what she looked like naked, and she was even more beautiful clothed. He shook his head to remove the last image of her lying beneath him a few hours before on the ground. He returned his attention back to setting up the tent.

Kathryn found several logs and branches and returned with the armful as he still worked on the tent. She decided to get more for today and the next, doing this, it would allow them to explore the area or even lay curled up in the sleeping bag the whole time.

As she gathered the wood, she thought back to the first time she laid eyes on Chakotay. She remembered his face on the viewscreen, shortly after being returned to the ship after being abducted by the Caretaker. He was an angry man that she could see. Once face to face, she could then see the passion in his dark eyes and found out as the weeks turned into months, and the months into years, he was a very gentle and honorable man. Once he had vowed his loyalty to her, he never looked back at his Maquis past - except for the Tiro incident - but never has. And he loved her, all that time, she knew. And he knew she couldn't and wouldn't act on it, he accepted that.

Now seven years and six months later, they were home on Earth. They were still best friends, but now lovers. Their future still uncertain, since she didn't know if a command waited for her or not. But she was willing to take that chance to be with him. She was in love, pure and simple. She would love for them to marry and raise a family, but at this moment in time, it was difficult to say.

Their weekends were filled with unbridled passion and tenderness, she remembered times in either his apartment off base or hers on Utopia Planitia, and they sometimes barely made it out of bed. Both were current on their boosters, so pregnancy wasn't a concern for them, although there were times that she wished .... Just wished things could be different.

Deciding she had enough wood, she walked back to find the tent set up and he was building the first fire. She put the wood nearby on one side, “how are we doing?”

“The sleeping bags still need to be done,” he replied.

She brushed the dirt off her shirt and arms, “I'm on it,” she replied and took each of their bags from their packs. She pulled them into the tent and opened them up. As she did, the scent of their lovemaking from the night before surrounded her. She smiled at the memories, and their quickie behind the rock face. She shook her head smiling at her boldness. At least he didn't mind ...

Once done, she stood up and stepped out, he had the fire going, the warmth reached out to her. She sighed, “I'm thinking of taking a swim. Join me?”

He glanced up at her, his eyes twinkled, and then he shook his head with a soft smile. “Oh no, you go ahead. That water is ice cold – “

“- Chicken,” she teased grinning, he chuckled. She knelt down next to her pack and pulled out a change of clothes and robe. She leaned over to him, “if you change your mind, you'll know where I'll be.”

“Oh, I won't,” he said and kissed her gently. “Go ahead, I'll let you know when lunch is ready,” she nodded standing and walked away towards the waterfall.

Once Kathryn stripped, she slowly emerged into the pool, she gasped. The water was a bit cooler than she expected, but she bore with it and submerged totally. Once done, her body temperature began to regulate and it wasn't so cold. She started to rinse the dirt and sweat from the hike off. She also washed her hair and rinsed the shampoo under the running water.

Chakotay found her an hour later resting against a near corner soaking against a flat rock. He smiled at the sight, she looked peaceful and fit the water nymph myth he had read about in classic novels. Quietly he sat down above her and reached down tenderly stroking her face. She sighed opening her eyes, he smiled, “sleeping?” 

She shrugged, her voice deep, “not really. In fact it's quite refreshing,” she smiled softly. “Sure you don't want to join me?”

“It's all yours,” he said as she and moved into a standing position. Once balanced on the small ledge, he smiled staring at her, she grinned at him, “enjoying the view?”

“Kathryn,” he said with a small laugh. “You're amazing, now come on before you catch a death of a cold.” He held up her robe, she nimbly stepped out, he wrapped it around her. She slid her arms into the sleeves and tied it. He picked up her clothes and she slipped on her boots, once ready, he took her hand leading her back to the fire. “I've made some soup if that's okay?”

“Sounds wonderful,” she said and sat down on the soft blanket he had next to the fire. She took a small towel from her pack and began to dry her hair.

He watched her while stirring the soup he had simmering over the fire. “Do you know how beautiful you are?”

Kathryn smiled shaking her hair and running her fingers through it. “Well the water made me feel at least 20 years younger.” She fell silent for a moment glancing down. “Sometimes I feel so old Chakotay,” he looked at her, she sighed. “Especially with this last year in the Delta Quadrant.”

He moved over beside her recognizing the face and her sadness. It had been months since he'd seen it. Since they've been together. Gently he said, “Kathryn, seven year's was a long time.”

She nodded, “long enough to deny myself any personal happiness, raise a family.” She shrugged, “now it's too late I think.”

He reached out pulling her against him, “no Kathryn, its not.”

She looked at him, “how can I raise a family and command a ship?”

“It's being done on ships,” he replied. “If you get married before taking command.” He sighed, not believing he was saying this. But it felt right and it was just coming out. “Makes the travel much easier.”

She stared at him, and then said softly, “the only ships with families on board are the Galaxy-class and now they just added the Ambassador-class.”

He knew those ships were much larger than Voyager. He shrugged, “so why can't you command either one? You’re quite capable Kathryn.”

Kathryn felt her throat tighten with tears, his belief in her was touching. She sighed, “it'd be a dream to command a ship like those Chakotay. But,” she felt her eyes mist over, “if you're my first officer, that mean's no family. And the crews are twice larger than it was on Voyager, it wouldn't be the same.”

He nodded understanding her dilemma, and then said gently, “well, what if I wasn't your first officer, but just your husband?”

Kathryn's eyes widened in shock, she knelt turning to him as he smiled gently at her. Her voice shook, “Chakotay are you asking me what I think you are?” His smile grew slightly wider, he reached out stroking the side of her face. A tear slid down her face, she bit her lip, “it'd be so wonderful ... if I'm ever offered a command like ... that.” And more tears slipped down her face, she was overjoyed.

He pulled her into his arms stroking her tears away, their eyes not leaving each other. He smiled tenderly at her, “would you marry me if you get a command like that?”

She cupped his face in her hands beginning to cry, she nodded, “yes, I would.”

He kissed her hand gently, “oh Kathryn – “ he kissed her deeply and gently, tasting the salt of her tears as they intermingled with her kiss. She clung to him tightly, and then buried her face in his neck crying softly. He held her gently, stroking her hair and back. “I love you so much,” he whispered in her ear.

She smiled through her tears, “I love you to,” she said tearfully. Despite trying to control herself, she burst into tears again.

Chakotay sat down holding her in his lap crooning to her, “its okay my love.” She buried her face in his shoulder, he rocked her gently. She began to quiet after several minutes, he lifted her head looking at her. “Are you okay?”

She nodded wiping her eyes, “yes, I guess I'm just a little shocked and happy.”

He kissed her tenderly whispering, “I want you to be happy.” She smiled softly at him, “come on, let's have some soup.”

She nodded and moved off him, he then handed her a bowl and spoon. She took it gratefully, he held his.

Although it was late afternoon, the warmth from the sun streamed through the trees, which also provided some coverage and privacy. As she warmed back up with the soup, she thought of what he said about marrying if she ever got a command that would allow it. She looked at him, “Chakotay if I did get a command like that, what would you do on board?”

He thought for a moment, then shrugged, “well, I could teach high school aged kids, since I'm sorta doing that now. My year's teaching Naomi prepared me for it and I do enjoy it.”

Kathryn smiled nodding, “yes, she was a delight to have on board.” Then laughed softly, he stared at her, “she told me she enjoyed your lessons – “

“- Why are you laughing?”

She shrugged, “nothing, but she once told me about a year ago – “ and stopped still smiling at him. She stared at her lover who was listening and waiting, her lopsided smile becoming brighter. She sipped her soup while saying, “she confessed in secret to me that ... she had a crush on you.”

Chakotay laughed shaking his head, she did as well. “Actually I did notice.”

“You did?”

He nodded, “during one of our lessons several months ago, I caught her staring at me – “

“- What'd you do?”

He chuckled, “I asked her if she was more focused on me than the lesson,” Kathryn started to laugh. “Needless to say, she turned this bright shade of red and never did it again. If she did, it wasn't during then.”

Kathryn caught her breath, she was laughing so much tears had formed. She wiped her eyes, “oh my, she was a remarkable girl.” She shook her head, “I do miss her though.” Then added softly, “but I can see what she meant. You are handsome Chakotay – “

He leaned towards her, “you've never told me that.”

She shrugged, “I didn't want it to go to your head,” she finished her soup placing the bowl next to the blanket.

“Since when did I ever,” he asked, “let anything go to my head?"

She glanced at him, then knelt again and turned straddling him still in her robe. She placed her hands on his chest, he had finished his soup earlier. So he placed his hands on her hips pulling her closer to him, she was nude still beneath the robe and he was becoming aroused knowing this. She sighed, “you never let anything go to your head,” she wrapped her arms around him. She could feel his arousal and she gently moved her hips against his watching him grow flush as she did. He had enormous control, she admired him for that.

Chakotay sighed, he slid his hands beneath the robe caressing her hips and slowly slid them up pulling the robe apart. He cupped a breast with one hand, and placed another on her lower back supporting her. He leaned forward placing a soft kiss on her throat, this was incredibly erotic for both. She tilted back her head with a sigh, “except you,” he said deeply, “I can't think of anybody but you Kathryn,” he was thumbing a hard bud with his thumb. He felt her shiver, “I can always feel you, taste you –“ he lifted her closer to his hardness that was felt between them. She gasped, “smell you. You are my life, everything.” He trailed the kiss down to her breast and savored it gently, she groaned holding his head.

“Oh my,” she whispered feeling her body shudder, the warmth spread to the lower half of her body. If they didn't stop soon, they wouldn't be able to. “I love you,” she whimpered as he continued and moved to the other one.

“I'm lost without you,” he said tenderly, “you're the air that I breathe –“

Despite the passion she was feeling, his words made her laugh softly. “Oh aren't we the poet –“ he then held her and lowered her to the blanket lying against her, she took his face in her hands when he kissed her deeply. She responded and slid her legs around his hips, pressing her body up against his.

He wanted her at that moment, he always wanted her. But he had spoken what he felt, even if it made him sound poetic. He couldn't breathe without her, she was his air. She moaned softly as he opened her mouth gently letting their tongues mesh some. He groaned, it was getting unbearable, he then kissed her face and neck as she clung to him, “my Kathryn, you're so beautiful.”

She sighed running her hands up his back over the shirt, “Chakotay - I breathe only you,” he looked at her, she smiled softly and he kissed her gently. She responded and decided that waiting was no longer an issue. They were alone and in private, she could feel the ache building. She reached down and began unfastening his trousers, he understood and wanted to as well. He quickly knelt helping her, she sat up helping him as she pushed his trousers down, and his hardness greeted her eagerly. She kissed him passionately pulling him down against her as he positioned himself against her.

She gave a groan of pleasure as he joined them deeply, her hips arching to his. They kissed deeper as he began to move against her slowly. Their love and passion surrounding them as he cupped her breasts keeping her buds peaked. Her muscles began to clench him more as he continued to move deeper, she clutched him groaning lifting her hips tighter to his. “Oh Chakotay –“ she groaned, and he began to move faster drawing her release closer, she cried out feeling her body shuddering again.

“My Kathryn,” he said passionately, his own release building. He held back as long as he could and moved harder, she cried out again. She was ready as much as he was, he drove the point home and pounded her harder, he could hear her cries in his ears as the sound of their breathing and heartbeats filled him. He gave one last plunge feeling his release, she shuddered around him arching her back gripping him crying out. He groaned feeling his body shudder and spill into hers as he gasped collapsing against her. “Oh my god-“

Kathryn kissed his face softly, the passion still swimming through her. She sighed stroking his back, “that's one way to put it.” He chuckled and gazed at her, she traced his eyebrow, “do you realize if we succumbed to our feelings while on Voyager we might have never left our quarters?”

“I wouldn't have cared,” he said simply, she laughed softly. “Making love to you is worth missing life.”

She stared up at him, she frowned, “what is it with you? Are you becoming poetic in your old age?”

He smiled at her, “I guess you just bring it out of me,” and she embraced him tightly. He held her kissing her neck, and then kissed her tenderly again. “Come on, you need to dress,” he pulled away from her and she closed her robe, he pulled up his trousers.

=/\=

Kathryn had changed into a pale blue, sleeveless cotton sundress and brushed her hair smooth. He made dinner that consisted of a hearty vegetable soup and bread. She sat leaning against him as they ate and talking of future trips they would take.

Afterwards they sat on a soft bed of moss along the ledge watching the sunset. She curled into his arm that was wrapped around her and rested her head against his shoulder. She sighed, “I wish I didn't have to leave you in two days.”

He glanced down at her with a soft smile, “I don't either. I'd love it if we beamed back together.” She nodded, “this does remind you of New Earth.”

She laughed, “yes, but without the monkey.”

“No monkey,” he said agreeing, she hid her laughter in his shirt. He chuckled stroking her hair gently. She wrapped her arms around him calming, he held her tighter. “I miss your long hair Kathryn.”

“So do I,” she replied softly, “sometimes. But this length has been easier to handle, especially in emergency situations.”

“When you first cut it,” he said, “it was too short. It was nicer when you let it grow out some. I've wanted to run my hands through your hair for years.”

She smiled placing her hand on his chest glancing up at him, “well, you make a pretty good mess of it now. If I still had long hair now and after making love, I'd have to spend hours brushing it back. Now I just have to brush a little,” she sat up some. “Is that why you play with my hair so much? Out of all the men I've been with, you're the only one who literally messes my hair up.” He stared at her and then nodded, she laughed, “well, I'm happy to have pleased you.”

He pulled her against him gently while smiling, “just being here with you pleases me Kathryn.”

She stared up at him and then stretched up kissing him gently, he held her responding. The passion slowly built as he slid his hand down her back, she in turn lifted herself up straddling him. She wrapped her arms around him, he took her face in his hands gently as they stared deeply at each other. She sighed, “Naomi was right – “

“ - What's that?” he asked softly tenderly tracing her facial bones.

She placed a kiss on his tattoo, trailing light kisses down to his jaw, across his chin to the other side. He closed his eyes as she kissed each tenderly, then his nose and him gently. He groaned responding running his hands into her hair gripping it gently. She whispered against his mouth, “a crush on you is ... a wise idea.”

“I agree,” he whispered, “because I've had a huge crush on you for a very, very,” he kissed her deeper, she moaned as their tongues meshed gently. Then he slid a hand down to her backside sliding a hand beneath finding her bare again, his body reacted to it. She had become so bold with her sexuality since they became lovers. He lifted her closer and said while placing a deep warm kiss on her throat. “Long time.”

She sighed running her hands into his hair, “really?” she said, her voice deep and husky with desire. He slid his hand around and she felt him begin to stroke her womanhood gently, his hand teasing her nub of nerves. She gasped pressing her body tighter against him, “Chak-otay,” she whimpered. “God why do I love you so much - ?”

“ - You’re asking now?” he questioned.

She shook her head, “no, I know why. Forget I said it.”

“Good,” he said still stroking her, she was growing even more warm and moist. He was hard feeling the pressure of his trousers, his heart picked up and breath grew short. He kissed her deeply again and at the same time slid a finger gently into her. She groaned arching her back to him. Her hips bucked and moved against his hand as he gently stroked her within, “Kathryn –“ her breath came in sharp gasps, she whimpered gripping his neck gently. Her body shuddered against him, “I love you.”

Tears sprang to her eyes as she pressed him deeper, “I love ... you,” they kissed deeply and gently again, he removed his hand and unfastened his trousers releasing himself. She felt him and gazed at him. He kissed her throat as she raised herself slightly above him and lowered herself down onto him groaning in the pleasure. He held her hips as they sat savoring each other for several moments. She could feel his heat pulsating within her, she took his face in her hands pressing her forehead beginning to move her hips downward against his.

He groaned feeling her muscles begin to clench him, the gentle passion sweeping through them. He guided her against him slowly as she led their lovemaking for now. It amazed him how much they did make love when together, their hunger for each other seeming unfulfilled. He couldn't get enough of her, it seemed especially this weekend. “You're so beautiful,” he whispered as she continued to move against him.

The tears slid down her face still as she pressed him deeper into her, the ache began to build tighter, and she started to move harder groaning. He lifted her more as he kept guiding her, his own release building. She cried out and he kissed her deeply, their tongues meshing again. Her body shuddered again, she moved faster to bring their release, he groaned as she continued to clench him tighter.

She hungered him, loved him so much that he let her lead this time. He helped her bring them closer. She kept moving harder and faster gasping and buried her face in his neck as the ache built even tighter and stronger, he groaned again clasping her tighter. Suddenly the ache burst and she cried out as her body shook violently against him, he groaned as his body shuddered feeling his own release. She cried softly against him as her body still quaked from the climax.

“Oh Kathryn,” he said gently stroking her hair and back. They were still connected and he wasn't ready to leave her. She showed her vulnerability during their lovemaking at times, like now. So he held her gently letting her cry. “My love, everything will be okay.”

She kissed his neck trying to calm, she wiped her eyes and gazed at him. He stroked her face, drying up her tears gently. “Oh Chakotay, I'm sorry – “

“- For what?”

“Crying like this,” she replied ashamed.

He shook his head and then kissed her tenderly, “no Kathryn, don't be sorry. It just shows you're a woman who's deeply affected by our passion. I love that about you, I want to hold and show you its okay. I've waited seven years for this, please love, if you have to cry, its okay.”

She stared at him, “I love you,” she whispered.

He smiled gently, “I love you to.” He then lowered her down to the soft earth and moss covered ground. “May I continue?”

Kathryn could feel him growing hard again, her desire for him still apparent. She nodded, “yes, please,” and he kissed her deeply, she responded.

They continued to make gentle love on the ridge as the sunset.

Much later after the sunset and the air grew cooler, they retired back to the tent in the sleeping bag. She removed the sundress and sank down nude into his arms curling beside him as he pulled the top over them. Their body heat warmed them as they heard the crackling of the fire just outside.

She kissed his chest as he stroked her back softly, “this is as perfect as it gets,” she sighed.

“Think so?” he asked kissing the top of her head.

She nodded and propped herself up on his chest staring at him, her voice was soft and husky, “compared to worrying about running into the Borg, Hirogen and even the Vidiians, this is perfect.”

“Well, that's a good point,” he said with a smile. “Know what I think is?” She nodded, he slid his hand up her caressing, “just being here with you. I love your boldness, no clothes under your dress,” she smiled. “I never knew you had it in you.”

She touched his face, running a fingertip along his nose and around his mouth. “I think I've surprised myself. I guess you bring it out of me,” he smiled and lifted his head kissing her gently. She responded pressing her body against his. After a moment she rested her head on his shoulder as he gently kissed her face. She sighed wrapping her arms around him as he held her, her eyelids felt heavy, the day's activities catching up with her.

They lay quietly wrapped up in each other's arms, listening to their breathing, content of just being together. She snuggled closer to him, he wrapped her tighter kissing her head. “Are you sleeping?” She answered with a soft moan, he smiled, “I love you Kathryn,” he whispered.

“I ... love,” she murmured drifting off.

He continued to hold her throughout the night, falling asleep himself as he hoped she'd get a command which would allow them to marry and be together.

They woke early the next morning to more lovemaking, as he woke her initiating it this time. She let him and clung to him in the tender passion crying out his name and letting her emotions fill her. She cried in his arms afterwards as he held her gently crooning to her.

Once rested enough, they got up and dressed to spend their full final day together to explore their domain and have something to eat. The sky was hazy and air warm, but that didn't stop them from finding a path nearby to walk down.

She held his hand as they watched a family of rabbits near a small outcropping and they knelt quietly nearby. She glowed beside him, he glanced lovingly at her. She was smiling softly, he couldn't resist but to touch her face tenderly. She looked at him and kissed his hand, and then he indicated for her to keep moving. They straightened leaving the rabbit family heading further down the path.

Chakotay spotted one redwood and an opening on the side. “Kathryn, come here,” he said to her. She was investigating some flora, she headed over. He stepped over the large roots and peeked inside the century's old trunk where a natural cavern had formed.

Kathryn joined him a moment later, “what?” He ducked a little lower and started to slip inside, “Chakotay - ?”

He glanced back at her with a smile, “its okay. This tree has got to be over 200 year's old,” he found plenty of room inside and slipped inside finding he could stand at his actual height. It was dark, but dry as he gazed around. “Kathryn this is incredible.”

She stepped closer and began to enter, he reached for her and she gasped when he pulled her inside into his arms kissing her deeply. She responded wrapping her arms around him as he let a hand roam her gently. She felt his hand brush across the plane of her stomach, she moaned softly and gazed at him smirking, “you want a quickie inside an old tree?”

He grinned at her in the low lighting, he could feel his arousal building but decided he'd rather wait until they were back in the tent. As fascinating as this tree was, there was no moss to have her lie against and he remembered her discomfort when they almost made love against a tree earlier the day before. He sighed placing a kiss on her nose, “we could, but,” he pulled her tighter against him and ground his hips against hers, she responded feeling her own arousal. “I'd rather wait until we're in a more comfortable spot.”

She glanced around, she was tempted, despite there being enough room to make love against the interior of the tree, and it didn't look comfortable. She took his hand and placed it on her breast while whispering seductively, “I guess we'll have to wait – “ and he kissed her deeply and passionately. She responded clinging to him as he still held her breast gently, she felt her body shiver against his. After a moment she pulled away gazing at him, “I love you.”

“I love you,” he said tenderly and his eye caught some markings just inside and seen by the hazy sun. He smiled, “look at this,” he moved closer finding writing burned into the interior.

“What?” she asked and looked to where he was.

In large, but uneven lettering was, “Brian and Kathy - 2003.”

She smiled with a soft laugh, “this is over 100 years old.”

He nodded, “someone discovered this tree before us. I wonder who they were?”

She shrugged, “probably just a couple hiking, like us.”

“And making love just like us?” he asked her teasing.

She laughed, “well, who knows? But I think we can consider that.”

“I'd like to,” he said smiling, he reached out taking her hand. She took it as they gripped gently. “Hungry?”

“A little,” she replied.

“Come on,” he said and they stepped out from inside the tree heading back to camp.

When they arrived, she pulled away to wash her face in the pool. He was going to get a fire started, but decided to wait for her.

Kathryn knelt on the flattest rock she could find, it felt a little slick and wet, but she balanced herself and leaned over. Just as she was putting her hands in the water, a knee slipped and she gasped trying to catch herself.

Chakotay saw her knee slip, he cursed and quickly stepped over grabbing her waist pulling her back. “Kathryn – “

“- I'm fine,” she said gazing at him. “But thank you – “

“ - You almost fell in,” he told her.

She put her hand against his chest, “you saved me ... again.” He smiled, “I am thankful, because I only had one change of clothes left. I would have ended up short.”

His eyes twinkled, he grinned teasing, “now I wouldn't mind that. I mean with all this tree coverage – “

She groaned, “Chakotay. I'm not Eve –“

He pulled her up against him, she stared at him, and he leaned down kissing her gently. “I know,” he said softly, she responded wrapping her arms around him. He lifted her up against him pulling her off the rock. He kissed her face gently, she sighed holding him, “I love you so much.”

Kathryn closed her eyes putting her head on his chest, “I love you to.” He lowered her to her feet. She was about to suggest food when she felt a few rain drops land on her face and arm. She laughed, “oh no –“ The water was warm, but gentle.

He chuckled, “oh well,” he grabbed her hand and they quickly dashed to the tent. They entered the tent just as the rain began to fall heavier. “So much for lunch,” he brushed the water off his face and arms.

“It'll wait,” she said with a sigh, “at least we already had our personal stuff inside.” She shook her hair loose of the extra droplets of water and ran her hand through her hair. “Well, we might as well wait it out,” she removed her boots and sat down onto their closed sleeping bag. He stood staring at her, she smirked, “what?”

“Nothing,” he said with a soft smile.

She sat with her legs crossed, then patted next to her saying softly, “come and keep me company.”

“If you put it that way,” he said and sank down next to her removing his own boots. They heard the rain fall a little heavier, “it doesn't look like it'll be stopping anytime soon.”

“This is fine,” she said, he turned to her also cross-legged. She then knelt and moved into his arms sitting on his legs. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer, she rested her head on his chest. They sat listening to the rainfall, relaxing to the steady fall. “So now what?”

He sighed, “I'm surprised you haven't got anything in mind?”

She smiled lifting her head, “why should I?”

“You always have an idea,” he replied, she smiled.

“Perhaps I'm out of ideas –“

He chuckled, “- I find that hard to believe.” She stared at him, he reached out stroking her face, and she leaned into his hand. He lowered his head kissing her gently, she responded with a soft moan pulling him closer. After several moments he began to kiss her face, “are you wearing anything beneath your clothes?”

She smiled and took his hand, “would you enjoy it more if I wasn't?”

He placed a kiss on her throat, she tilted back her head. “Oh yes,” he breathed desirably.

Kathryn placed his hand over a breast on her shirt, she pressed herself into his hand, “well, my love, your wish is my command.”

He didn't feel her bra, but the softness of her beneath the shirt. He felt himself become more aroused. He groaned and hungrily kissed her, she opened her mouth responding as their tongues meshed. He held her face in his hands and then ran his hands into her hair. The desire burned between them, he lowered her to the sleeping bag, he wanted her. She lay beneath him holding him against her, his hands pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it. “Kathryn,” he whispered lovingly, he held her kissing slowly down her taking a warm bud in his mouth beginning to savor it gently. She sighed arching her back holding his head, “you make me happy I'm a man.”

Kathryn's heart swelled with that statement, she slid her hands beneath his shirt and caressed his back pulling his shirt over his head. “Chakotay,” she breathed, “I'm so happy I'm a woman,” they kissed deeply again as he rolled over onto his back pulling her on top of him. She slid her legs around his waist straddling him, he sat up kissing down to her other breast as he cupped it gently. She groaned clinging to him as the gentle passion rose between them.

He slid a hand into her shorts caressing and finding her ready. She gasped softly feeling his hand start to caress her, stroking her bud. The ache started to build, but slowly as he held her back, she pressed against his hand more as the pleasure swam through her. A whimper escaped her she tried to rise up allowing him better access, he held her down. “No, my love,” he said gently, she gazed at him, shock and desire seen. He kissed her deeply, she responded, he then kissed her neck and throat, “let me enjoy you.”

She sighed, her body shuddered, “Chakotay –“ he lowered her back down to the sleeping bag. She lay as he kissed slowly down her, behind her ears, her throat and trailed soft kisses down to each breast savoring them before moving on. She arched her back to him holding his head as he placed kisses on her abdomen, she heard the rain falling still and their breathing.

He unfastened her shorts and gently pulled them off revealing her. Finding her bare beneath aroused him even more. Now he would wonder what other surprises she'd have for him in the future when they met and how'd she dress. He softly kissed around her bud, avoiding it until the right time.

Kathryn felt him and groaned, she held his head gently as he teased her. The ache was still building, his fingers were probing her gently. Her legs parted more admitting him, she couldn't take it much longer. “Oh my - please –“ she whimpered. “Don't tease me –“

“Relax,” he told her tenderly and moved further down kissing her thighs, working his way down to her knees and calves. She gave a sigh of relief when he stopped his teasing. As he slowly moved back up her, he continued to stroke her gently, loving each part of her.

She felt him exploring her and taking his time, not finding the need to rush. She cried out softly when he placed his mouth on her finally drawing her bud up against his tongue exploring her deeply, his tongue darting inside her hot core, tears sprang to her eyes. “I love you,” she breathed, “please –“

“- Soon,” he said tenderly, she groaned gripping him more. He lifted her closer and then pulled away kissing her deeply again. She responded pulling him down against her, tasting herself and him. She tried to position him against her, but he was in control for this and he gently pulled away from her and stroked her shoulders. He slid his hand down to her hips and rolled her over onto her stomach. “Being with you is perfect,” he whispered placing soft kisses on her shoulder blades, working his way down her back slowly. He shaped out her hips and stroked the valley of her backside.

She gripped the fabric of the sleeping bag feeling him and loving him even more. She felt him slide between her legs and heard the rustling of his clothes. She groaned when his hand began to stroke her again keeping her aroused. He lay against her kissing her neck gently and sucking on her ear. He slid his arms around her positioning himself against her, she cried out softly when he joined them from behind, sliding gently into her. “Oh my god –“ she groaned, he had only made love to her like this once before a few months back. It was the most exquisite and pleasurable experience she had ever felt. She stretched her arms out, he placed his hands on hers beginning to move against her slowly and gently.

“Oh my Kathryn,” he groaned feeling her warmth and muscles clenching him. She whimpered again, arching her back against him more urging him deeper. He rolled her over onto their sides caressing her breasts. She rolled her head back into his neck closing her eyes. He continued to move slowly against her, his own breath growing shorter, she moaned reaching behind her wrapping an arm around his neck. He continued to move slowly, building their release in ebbs.

She urged him deeper, the pleasure surging through her, his love filling her heart and soul. “Don't stop –“ she whimpered and cried out as her body shuddered. “Chakotay - I love you.”

He leaned into her pressing her back down to the sleeping bag. She gripped it as he pressed his entire body against hers beginning to move faster. Both their breaths grew shorter and sharper, he buried his face in her neck and hair. “You're so beautiful,” he groaned lovingly. He wanted to move harder, but held back trying to make it last, although his own release was building.

Kathryn cried out again, she arched her back propping herself up on her elbows urging him. “Harder, Chako-tay.”

He wrapped his arms around her kissing her neck and shoulder. His own need making him want to. Her muscles were clenching him more, her cries filling him making him more aroused. “Are you sure?”

She blinked at his question, and then realized he was joking. She growled low in her throat, “that's not funny –“ she groaned as her ache built tighter and stronger, she was so close. “Oh god - you had better be kidding –“

He chuckled softly still holding back, his own release was closer. He wanted to bring her to the highest plateau of pleasure before giving into his own needs. “Yes - my love. I know what you want.”

“Damnit –“ she said, her voice filled with passion. “Why are you teasing me?”

“Because I love you,” he replied gently, he then gave in letting her feel the rest and began to pound harder against her bringing their release to a close. “Kathryn - oh god,” she whimpered in response.

She closed her eyes feeling him and he kissed her neck gently, she groaned again. Once she felt her release burst, she screamed feeling her body shudder violently, she gasped sinking to the sleeping bag. He felt his and groaned collapsing against her as his hips slowed. Their skin damp from the passion, his heartbeat slowing. He sighed wrapping his arms around her kissing her neck, “you’re wonderful,” she whispered, “but such a tease.”

He smiled, they lay spooned against each other, he ran his hand into her hair gently, she leaned against his hand. “You enjoy it, I know you do.”

She laughed softly, her voice still filled with passion. “Yes, I suppose I do,” he kissed her neck gently. She listened for the rain, it was quiet. During their highest moments of passion, she didn't hear it stop. She sighed, “it stopped raining.”

Chakotay lifted his head briefly to listen, “your right.” She turned into his arms staring at him, he kissed her tenderly, she responded wrapping her arms around him. After a moment she kissed his face and neck cuddling closer as he held her. “Are you hungry?” he asked her softly. “I'm going to build a fire, but I'm going to have to find more dry wood.”  
She sighed, “a little. And a fire would be nice.”

He nodded, “okay,” he kissed the top of her head gently. He went to move, but she still clung to him, he sighed, “Kathryn you’re going to have to let me go so I could get started.”

“Oh Chakotay,” she groaned holding him tightly. “I know, but just hold me a little longer.”

He sighed nodding, “if you'd like my love,” he held her tighter as they lay listening to their breathing and heartbeats. He stroked her hair gently, cherishing these moments with her when she wanted to be held. Something he was always willing to do when asked. After several minutes he whispered, “do you know how much I love you?”

She shook her head, “how much?”

He slid his hand down her back caressing gently, “as much as the sun loves the sky, the stars love the universe,” she began to laugh softly. He chuckled continuing, “the water loves the earth –“

She rolled over onto him propping herself up on his chest, her face lit up with a bright smile. “Chakotay, what's gotten into you? You've spouted so much poetry this weekend it's amazing.”

He took her face in his hands, gently brushing her hair out of her face. “It's what's in my heart Kathryn,” her expression softened, her eyes seemed to become bluer. He stared at her, “I want to marry you Kathryn,” her eyes grew moist, he smiled softly. “I love you. I've loved you since that day we met.”

“Oh Chakotay,” she said, her voice broke. “You know I can't make a decision yet –“

He nodded, “- I know and I'll wait.” She embraced him laying her head on his chest, her tears silent. “I just want to make you happy –“

“ - I'm already happy,” she said, her voice filled with love and emotion. “I'm happier now than I've been in seven years.” She wiped her eyes, “since you walked back into my life that night. I thought I'd only see you once a year at most.”

“Kathryn I'm so sorry I hurt you,” he said tenderly, “by going with Seven –“

She shook her head, “- it's okay. I wanted you to be happy and if you had to be with Seven, so be it. I would have survived and I planned to move on, hopefully not become that cynical old woman the admiral had become.”

“Never you,” he said gently, “never Kathryn. Your one of the most compassionate women I know, who feels so much –“

“- But I couldn't express it,” she said, the tears still apparent. “You have no idea how difficult it was, when your own crew thought you cold as a fish. When we lost Lindsay that second time, almost you a couple of times and Joe Carey.”

“Kathryn, they didn't think you were cold,” he told her gently. “They knew you were doing the best you could. I know how difficult it was. I could see it in your eyes and face. I wanted to comfort you, but all I could do was stand beside you and offer my support.”

“I was so thankful for you,” she said, “for being there.” She lifted her head gazing at him, her eyes bright with tears. He tenderly wiped them away, “I can't imagine a day without you Chakotay, not ever.”

“I won't ever leave you,” he said, “my Kathryn. You’re my heart, my soul and the air that I breathe.”

She kissed him gently, the tears still sliding down her face as they mixed with their kiss. He responded holding her, and then kissed her face softly drying her tears up. She smiled burying her face between his neck and shoulder clinging to him.

They held each other for awhile longer as he let her emotions ride out. Once she appeared calmer, he roused her to make them dinner. She let him go so he could find some dry wood and she dressed back into her shirt and shorts, joining him as they lit their last fire of the weekend. They were beaming back to their separate destinations after packing up the next morning. Tonight was a special night for them, as each and every final night was before they parted.

=/\=

Chakotay managed to find an armful of firewood and build a fire. While he made some pasta soup, they talked about Voyager's upgrades and his temporary assignment as an instructor at the academy.

“So, they're taking astrometrics,” she said, “and plan on implementing it into the next Intrepid-class ship.”

“That'll be helpful,” he said.

She shrugged, “maybe. It's definitely better than stellar cartography, we found that out.” He nodded, she sighed, “if they offer you a permanent position at the academy, will you accept?”

He stared at her, “I think that all depends on you Kathryn.”

She smirked at him, “Chakotay –“

“- I've made my feeling's clear,” he told her gently. “I go wherever you go.”

She smiled softly, “I really love you Chakotay.”

“I love you,” he replied smiling.

Once they finished eating, he took their bowls and rinsed them out. She rested back onto the blanket, which didn't get wet from the rain. She watched him dig into his pack, “what are you doing?” she asked curious.

He glanced over at her, and then pulled out two narrow acrylic glasses. He handed one to her, then pulled out a familiar glass bottle with amber liquid in it. “I thought this would be appropriate for our last night.”

“Chakotay,” she said shocked, “Anterean Cider?” He nodded, “I thought you used it all.”

He smiled gently at her, his eyes twinkled, “I had one bottle left. Would you like some?”

She sat up kneeling beside him holding out her glass, “what type of question is that? Please,” he nodded, opened it and began to pour her a glass. She watched him, then asked teasing, “do you plan to get me drunk and take advantage of me?”

Chakotay grinned lovingly at her, “only if you’re willing,” he quipped. She laughed softly, he leaned over kissing her gently. Then pulled away holding his glass up to her, “to us.”

She smiled fully back at him, “to us,” she agreed raising her glass tapping it with his. They stared at each other, she took a sip and then lowered herself back down to the blanket. He stretched out beside her propping himself up on an elbow holding his glass.

“Remember when I first gave you this?” he asked.

She nodded, “oh yes, that lightning rod incident,” she raised her eyes to him. “And you quoting the Temporal Prime Directive,” he smiled. She sighed, “Chakotay, tell me about it.”

He toyed with his glass, the warmth from the fire was comforting as the sunset, and the glow cast a beautiful orange-red hue to her face. He groaned quietly, then, “alright, I'll tell you,” he finally said. And he went on to tell her of how the ship was fractured into 32 different timelines of Voyager's past and future. And how he teamed up with her younger self to fix it while running into Seska, an older Naomi and Icheb and even the macrovirus. She sat amazed at his story, her memory being slightly jogged as she vaguely remembered the incidents.

Once he finished she stared at him, “well, that's quite an adventure you had.” She finished her cider, then lifted her chin, “Chakotay I do remember something of your adventure.”

“You do?” he asked curious with a slight smile.

She nodded, “yes,” she paused trying to think of how to say it, since it was faded like a dream, she was still unsure even if it happened. He waited, she lifted her chin staring at him, “I remember the engine room,” he nodded. “I remember what you told me about barriers –“

He sighed, “ - Kathryn – “ this was one incident he hoped she wouldn't remember.

She shook her head, “why did you say that? When you knew you could have changed it?” She touched his face, “didn't you want to? I mean, for the way we are now?”

Chakotay took her hand kissing it tenderly, he stared at her sighing, “I thought about it Kathryn, I really did. But I didn't want to take a chance with our history.”

Her eyes fell, “I wish you did,” she said softly.

He shook his head, “no Kathryn. Now your thinking with your heart –“

“- Don't you see?” she said firmly. “I should have back then,” her voice lowered, “perhaps I wouldn't have been so lonely.”

Chakotay then pulled her into his arms kissing her tenderly, “oh Kathryn,” he said tenderly. “My love, you were never alone.”

She wrapped her arms around him, “thank you for telling me that. It makes the past easier to remember,” he kissed her gently again and lowered her to the blanket as she pulled him against her.

He pressed his body to hers, the fire was warming them, but the night was also warm. He began to kiss her face gently, and then looked at her, “how about we spend the night right here?”

“Here?” she asked.

He nodded, “yes, it's our last night and since its warm enough, we should be okay.”

She stared up at the sky, the stars twinkled through the trees, “I think it's a wonderful idea. Sleeping under the stars.”

“Let me get the sleeping bag,” he said, he kissed her nose and moved off her. She sat up and spread out a plastic layer on the ground from the tent next to the fire that would protect the sleeping bag from any moisture. He then spread the sleeping bag out, she then spread the blanket over that for extra warmth in case it was needed. Once done, she slipped back into the tent to change.

Chakotay sat in the sleeping bag waiting for Kathryn. He fed some more wood on the fire to keep it burning. He heard the tent flap open and she emerged dressed in a simple, white cotton shift. He smiled admiring her, “that looks comfortable.”

She shrugged, “it's cool enough, but works for coverage,” he chuckled, she smiled. He opened the sleeping bag, she sank down beside him, and he wrapped his arm around her as she leaned against him. They watched the fire quietly, she glanced at him, the fire's glow casting shadows around them and accenting one side of his face. “I'll never forget this weekend –“

He looked at her with a gentle smile, “neither will I.”

“Even though,” she said husky, “we acted like a couple of hormone crazed cadets –“

“That was the best part,” he said, she laughed softly nodding. He pulled her tighter, “in fact my love,” he lowered her down to the sleeping bag. “This 'cadet' isn't finished with you yet,” he slid his hands down her slowly caressing. She stared up at him sliding her hands down his warm bare back. “It's our last night in paradise Kathryn. I want to remember it.”

She nodded taking his face in her hands, “yes, so do I,” he kissed her gently. She responded feeling him pull the shift over her hips and groaned when he slid a hand down to caress her womanhood, which was already warm for him. He continued to caress her gently as they kissed, her hips lifted to his when he slid two fingers into her gently, she cried out against his mouth. “Chakotay,” she breathed, she clung to him tightly. He kept stroking her, her body shuddering as he kissed her throat gently. “Oh god –“

“Kathryn,” he whispered gently, his breath growing short. He kissed her passionately, their tongues meshing, he slid between her legs.

She felt him and groaned sliding her legs around his hips, her hands slid down further finding him bare. She laughed, her turn at being surprised, “why Chakotay - are we prepared –“ and groaned when he joined them deeply and firmly. She clung to him as he moved slowly against her and kissed deeply again. He was obviously prepared for tonight and that excited her as well. She felt the ache start to build, but he was holding back again. “Oh Chak-otay,” she groaned, “I love you,” he kissed down to her throat, she gasped when he cupped her breasts gently over the shift. “Wait –“ He looked at her, his hips still moving against hers. She pulled the shift over her head dropping it beside them.

He grinned, she smiled, “you’re so beautiful. I love your boldness –“

“I love yours,” she said husky and rolled over against him still moving her hips downward against his. She sat up as he caressed her breasts, keeping her buds peaked, she gasped. “Two hormone crazed cadets, huh?”

He nodded and lifted his hips, she groaned, then he sat up wrapping his arms around her. They continued to rock gently, he kissed her face and throat whispering, “well Cadet Janeway I think you’re doing very well.”

She held him tightly, she gave a deep and throaty laugh, “I hope so, Cadet Chakotay,” and groaned feeling her body shudder. She sighed, “imagine if we met when we were cadets.”

“Oh Kathryn,” he groaned, “the chemistry would have been incredible,” he lay her back down beginning to move deeper. She wrapped her legs higher around his waist. He kissed her deeply again running his hands through her hair, he felt his release start to build. She groaned against his mouth, her muscles beginning to clench him more. He began to move faster drawing them closer. He kissed her even deeper as their tongues meshed deeply, she wrapped him tighter against her.

Kathryn felt the ache build tighter and stronger as he continued to move faster. She cried out against his mouth lifting her hips against his. She felt his hands in her hair gripping it gently and she gasped feeling her body shudder again. He began to move harder, she clutched him more burying her face in his shoulder beginning to scream, “Chak-o-tay- Oh god –“ this time it was going to be intense.

“Kathryn, my beautiful Kathryn,” he groaned beginning to move harder against her. He heard her screams and continued, her muscles were clenching him tighter, he could feel his own release building more.

She felt the ache build and grow stronger, she bit into his shoulder gently. When it burst, she screamed arching her back to him, her body shuddering violently, she clutched him gasping. He continued to move against her groaning, she felt another release building and cried out, her body still quaking from the first. When his release came, he cried out her name, his body shuddering. She felt the next one crying out and he gasped collapsing against her. They clung tightly to each other catching their breath, letting their heartbeats slow. He kissed her neck and throat gently, “I love you so much,” she whispered, her voice husky.

He looked at her, “I love you to,” and kissed her gently as they held each other in the afterglow. After a moment he sighed, “you complete me Kathryn.”

She took his face in her hands, tracing his face and tattoo in the firelight. “You complete me Chakotay,” he kissed her hands, she sighed as they held each other gently. He then lay beside her pulling her against him, she snuggled closer.

They lay quietly for several minutes listening to the fire and night sounds surrounding them. He sighed, “actually we did meet at the academy –“

Kathryn lifted her head, “what? We did?” He nodded, she propped herself up on his chest gazing at him, “when?”

“After your graduation,” he replied tracing her eyebrow. She smirked trying to remember, “you were with some friends on the campus. I was moving in –“

“- You were arriving early –“ she said.

He nodded, “yes, well, once I told my father I was accepted to the academy, things just fell apart between us. So I got permission for an early arrival and moved in.” He smiled, “you tripped over my suitcase.”

She thought for a moment trying to remember that incident. She vaguely remembered walking with two of her classmates heading back to the dorm. They were laughing over something and planning to attend the dance that evening. She wasn't watching where she was going and had tripped over some guy's luggage. He had caught her and she straightened herself looking into a handsome face and the darkest eyes she had ever seen. He had been a few year's older, but new to the academy. She remembered wondering why he was just starting his first year when he should have been finishing his last. She had thanked him, stepped away and he smiled at her, those incredible dimples ...

“Was that you?” she asked shocked. He nodded, “Chakotay why didn't you ever tell me?”

He shrugged, “it really wasn't worth mentioning.”

“I disagree,” she said softly. “Didn't you feel that chemistry then?”

He nodded, he ran his hand into her hair, “yes, of course. But you had just graduated. I wouldn't have seen you again, or so I thought. Of course, I didn't realize it was you until a few months after being in the Delta Quadrant.”

“What reminded you?”

“You stumbled during an attack,” he replied, she leaned against his hand. She smiled, “just like you did that day on campus.”

She moaned, “I guess we were meant to be, even briefly back then.”

Chakotay took her face in his hands pulling her up to him, “oh yes, my love. We were,” she stared at him and he kissed her tenderly. She responded and they wrapped their arms around each other. He lowered her back down to the sleeping bag kissing her face gently.

“Make love to me again,” she whispered.

He nodded, “I plan to,” and they kissed deeply and gently again making gentle love beneath the stars.

The next morning they woke spooned together as the sun rose and some birds singing. He kissed her face and made love to her again next to the glowing embers from the fire the night before. She cried in his arms at the end, knowing it was their last morning together until the next weekend.

When they roused from a brief nap, he cooked them breakfast after dressing and she began to pack up. They ate sitting beside each other, he glanced at her, “how about dinner and dancing next weekend?”

“You mean go out?”

He nodded, “sure, why not?”

She smirked, “sounds like it could be nice.”

“Just 'nice'?” he said.

She nodded, “yes, unless of course you also have other activities planned?” She smiled seductively at him.

He chuckled shaking his head and leaned over kissing her deeply, she laughed responding. Then he gazed at her, “I love you Kathryn and yes, other activities will be involved." She smiled at him, he stroked her face tenderly, “be at my place Friday night by 1900 hours.”

“I will,” she said softly.

“And bring a nice dress,” he added. “Something sexy, but very elegant.”

She knelt beside him taking his face in her hands, he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her against him. “Sexy is a possibility,” she said, her voice husky with desire. He smiled kissing her nose, she leaned closer, her breath warm on his face. “Long as you plan on taking it off after –“

He groaned kissing her hungrily, she responded clinging to him. She could be so seductive and passionate, being with her was a plunge into complete carnal oblivion. His love for her filled his every pore and sometimes when she arrived at his apartment or he hers, they had all they could do to make it to their beds. He recalled one evening where he slammed her up against the wall and made passionate love to her there. She didn't protest, but helped him and accepted him hungrily.

He pulled away from her, his breath short, “Kathryn - I can't live without you.”

“Nor I you,” she whispered cupping the side of his face. They embraced tightly soaking the feel of each other in. She closed her eyes as he stroked her hair and back, it broke her heart every weekend when they had to part. She sighed running her hands down his back, he shivered through the thin shirt he wore. “I don't want to leave you,” she whispered.

Chakotay inhaled her scent kissing her neck softly, “Kathryn I wish we could –“

“- Someday,” she whispered, “someday.” He gazed at her and then kissed her gently. She responded feeling her body warm and desire awaken again. He lowered her to the blanket pressing his body against hers, she could feel how hard he was. She clung to him, he kissed her neck and throat, “we have to finish packing –“ she said.

He kissed her again saying, “it'll wait,” and they made love again right before leaving.

Afterwards, reluctantly, they dressed and began packing. He took down the tent while she rolled up the sleeping bags and blanket. Soon as everything was packed and stored properly, he took her hand after throwing dirt on the fire embers and they headed down the path towards the trail. 

They were quiet as they walked the trail along the shoreline, they were looking for a proper beam-up spot. He sighed, “I'm going to build that cabin Kathryn. Someplace where we could really be alone.”

“It's a wonderful idea,” she said agreeing. “I'll help you –“ he stopped and pulled her towards him. She smiled cupping the side of his face, he kissed her hand. “We have to keep moving.”

He nodded, “yes, I know.” He took her hand and they continued walking.

About an hour later they found an open area with some picnic tables. It was scenic and quiet. This was their goodbye until the next weekend. She felt her eyes grow moist and he held her tightly, “sometimes I wish we still lived on our own planet –“

“- New Earth,” he said, “I wish we were back there to,” she nodded. He looked at her taking her face in his hands, drying the tears from the corners of her eyes. “Your so beautiful Kathryn, I love you so much.” He smiled softly, “I'll call you tonight my love.”

She nodded, “I know Chakotay. I just hate this –“

“- As do I,” he whispered lovingly. He kissed her gently, she responded holding him. Then he kissed her tears away, “I breathe you Kathryn, everything about you.”

“You’re the air that I breathe,” she replied now knowing her response. She smiled despite her tears, he smiled gently. “I have to go.”

“I know,” he said, “and take care of yourself Kathryn. I'll see you in four days, but I'll talk to you tonight.”

She nodded, wiped her eyes, “I look forward to it,” and pulled out her commbadge. She stared at him and sighed collecting herself as she stepped away from him. “And I'll find a dress –“

“- I know you will,” he said smiling.

She squared her shoulders, and then activated the commbadge, “Captain Janeway to Transporter Room Two.”

“Yes, Captain?” was the reply.

“One to beam to Spacedock,” she said.

“Acknowledged,” he said.

She was catching the next transport to Utopia Planitia, which left in the next 45 minutes. “I love you,” she said.

“I love you,” he said and watched her shimmer out of sight. He stood for a moment and gazed around the beauty surrounding him. The air was clean and fresh, he already missed her. He could still feel her, smell her, breathed her. Four days, just four days until he saw her again. With a sigh, he pulled out his commbadge and activated it, “Commander Chakotay to Transporter Room One.”

“Go ahead Commander,” was the reply.

“One to beam back to headquarters,” he said, and felt the beam grab him and he shimmered out of sight.

Six months later, Kathryn received command of the U.S.S. Excalibur, one of the second Ambassador-class ships that had been converted to carry families. Chakotay resigned his commission and they were married in a twilight ceremony on an overlook ledge with a view of the bridge surrounded by their former crewmembers, friends and family.

After a two-week honeymoon at their mountainside cabin in a remote spot of the Sante Fe Mountains, they left for her duty on the Excalibur with he as her husband and a teacher to the high school student's on board.

They breathed the same air again after a year when Voyager returned home.

They had come home.

The End

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